As I dashed madly about the apartment, attempting to tidy it up just enough to not feel like the complete worst mother of the world, I remembered the cheese. THE CHEESE! Oh dear god, during one of my nightly midnight snackattacks, I had "Cave-Womaned" the cheese. (thanks for the term "CaveWoman" as verb, ciii!) Yes, I had unabashedly gnawed on a block of Colby, chasing it with a slice of whole wheat bread, and perhaps a small goblet of wine... I yanked the noticeably smaller hunk of cheese and sliced off the incriminating bite marks.
That's right folks, I'm the teeth behind the marks that make you go "EWWW!"
This is actually my own carefully thought out strategy to secure the last bits of foods such as cheese, meats, brownies, fruit, veggies, etc. etc. For some reason, my "boys" don't want to eat these gnawed upon teeth-marked goodies.
At last! Rations! RATIONS for mommy!!! w00t! I thank the boys in fact, for it was they who inspired me by drinking from, belching into, and crumbing-up milk, juices, teas, etc. etc.
WTB secret panel vault-like DNA recognition, pupil-scanning-to-enter kitchen all for Mommy, ME, MEEEEE!!! Rations, FFS!
That's right folks, I'm the teeth behind the marks that make you go "EWWW!"
This is actually my own carefully thought out strategy to secure the last bits of foods such as cheese, meats, brownies, fruit, veggies, etc. etc. For some reason, my "boys" don't want to eat these gnawed upon teeth-marked goodies.
At last! Rations! RATIONS for mommy!!! w00t! I thank the boys in fact, for it was they who inspired me by drinking from, belching into, and crumbing-up milk, juices, teas, etc. etc.
WTB secret panel vault-like DNA recognition, pupil-scanning-to-enter kitchen all for Mommy, ME, MEEEEE!!! Rations, FFS!
No comments:
Post a Comment