Soooo, enter newly worldy wifey (from a few week's worth now of various newsworthy sources that mostly involve drunken housewives ranting and raving)...
wait, let's pause here. Normally, when BigHim asks me ANYTHING to do with politics or current events, I simply bat my eyes and say "I have no idea" and "whatever you say, dear." This is the ONLY topic of conversation and/or life where I EVER behave this way. ONLY! EVER! See, I figure I picked him for some reason or another that I might sometimes forget these days. But whatever, I will just vote with him since he has studied and followed and thought it out and blablabla. And I know he's not going to vote for Palin, I mean McCain... gooooooooooooo Moosehead! or something.
- Except for one night, he started patting McCain on the back for something random and I had had just enough wine to go full-on red-faced, neck-gyrating, hand-waving Irish and then start ranting and raving from my soapbox (in front of company, on his birthday. on. his. BIRTHDAY.) and very loudly accusing the government of getting to BigHim and 'don't believe the hype!' and all sorts of other Irish nonsense I suppose.
So this week, BigHim first witnessed my newfound civil awareness when he asked me if I heard that Paul Newman had passed?
***R.I.P. PAUL NEWMAN, YOU WERE A STELLAR PHILANTHROPIST; YOU DID THE WORLD OF ORGANICS A WORLD OF GOOD; AND YOU WERE ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS HOT AS HELL!!! /salutes! P.S. our dog, thinks your dogfood is the bees knees***
Notice, he asked if I had "heard," because he damned sure knew I had not read it.
Until I replied "Yes, dear. I read about that." (I didn't think I needed to tell him that I read it here on Mamapop.
BigHim *blinks* "whu, huh?" I didn't disclose my source as mamapop but whatever.
Then he asked if I knew what was happening in the stock market?
And I stunned him. STUNNED. BigHim. Because I had read about it here at Carolyn...Online.
Next, he asked me something about Palin or somebody... hmmm, I already forgot.
But anway, I knew about that too! And OK, so maybe these items are celebrity news and not real worldy stuff.
Oh wait, isn't Palin a presidential Candiate? No wait, that can't be right... Isn't she going to star in that new Matt Damon movie, <Ice Hockey Mom>... Oh shit, that wasn't real. That was a Matt Damon interview, oh yes - now I remember. BigHim asked me about the Damon interview and I had seen it here on mamapop.
Ok, enough, so yeah - BigHim thinks I'm reading MSNBC online or watching newsfeeds or something. I'm keeping my blogosphere nugget of joy to myself for now.
Good gawd, TANGENTS! TANGENTS!!!
So yeah, last night I said to the bewildered and weary BigHim, "You know honey, we should really call a truce for the weekend (we fight like the coyote and road runner but love each other madly in the end) because I mean, honey, I mean WHAT IF PALIN GETS ELECTED???"
BigHim: "Sweetheart, McCain is running for President, Palin is his running mate."
DQ: "FFS, whatever. But seriously. Like. What If. OMG!" (somehow, I will probably be an eighty year old woman that still lapses into totally tubular Valley Girl moments.) And yeah, I knew about McCain. I mean, I heard about him while reading How to Party With an Infant. Duh.
BigHim: "My love, you might have a very good point. That's very Buddhist of you."
(he's all transcendental spiritualist "thesecret"-practicing and stuff. It pisses me off. He hates when I say "don't spout off any of that fuckin secret bullshit to ME!" Actually, The Secret is totally amazing and that is why it angers me so. Yeah, I'm missing the point. FFS! Ok, no more tangents, almost done.)
Soooo, we scarfed down a white spinach pizza, played with our baby bulldozer, comtemplated making another baby since the world might be ending anyway and we wouldn't have to pay the bils... Then we got our Safety1st on and babyproofed our nest some more for the tomorrow that might never come and went to bed, happy, contented, and smiling.
Maybe we should pretend Palin is getting elected every day! It's my new version of Buddhism, "But what is Palin gets elected next Tuesday???" I at least knew the election goes down on a Tuesday. That's right, GOES DOWN! Because well, either elections are gangsta or Monica Lewinsky is workin' the POLES again. HA! FFS! Yeah, I'm that mature. Whatever. It's Saturday morning, when I have a legitimate excuse to regress. At least I think it's legitimate...
I didn't actually post this until Tuesday afternoon because:
- By Saturday afternoon, we had both figured out that the election was a month away and resumed tormenting each other.
- By Sunday, we turned it around again.
- By Monday night, more torment.
- Today, we're back to the TRUCE. So that, my friends, is why I've been reluctant to write. There was the extreme temptation to red-line the above post and write FUCK YOU!!! instead, but
- I held onto my virtual pen until I calmed a bit.
- Our family outing on Sunday to the local art festival and a big date night for fish-n-chips with the baby were great attitude adjustments.
So yeah, back to TRUCE TIMES!
Because, I mean, WHAT IF PALIN GETS ELECTED??? (WIPGE?)