Thursday, November 13, 2008

Dear AssFace,

Dear AssFace,

Please forget about taking me to the lab for bloodwork to figure out what is "wrong" with me... Do you think bloodwork reveal a shitty marriage???

[damn, I wish I'd included the above intro in the original email I just hit send on]

In fact, I don't want you near me until our "therapy" session (IF I CAN FIND A BABYSITTER during dinnertime! WTF). I don't want to see you. I don't even want to hear your voice. If you must call, I will answer but I will NOT call you, or your other family again (except for boy0 because he is the ONLY dependable one) unless it as an emergency that requires ambulance or firemen.

Let's get something straight:
  1. Yesterday, you pulled a TOTAL MINDFUCK (excuse my language but don't know any better way to call a spade a spade) on me and THAT is why I blew my lid! You are UNBELIEVABLE!
  2. You had been starting deep conversations since the day before and then abruptly cutting them off and refusing to speak further. You have said your mother did this with anything you ever liked.
  3. You teased me into thinking you were ready to talk and work on getting back together - you even went so far as to ask me about your "roomate, wife but separated" about proposal advice!!! Isn't that how you refered to "your ex roomie" when we met? Just your roomate now, you were separated??? I'm beginning to suspect that you are a CON ARTIST.
  4. YOU ABANDONED US. (argue whatever you want, but I begged you to stay, the baby seemed sick, I was sick, we both needed you, I begged with words, ourson begged with tears.) You IGNORED our pleas and RAN AWAY to your MOMMY! I CANNOT COUNT ON YOU - I USED to count on you and I THOUGHT I could count on you again BUT once again, you disappoint, let down, and prove that your word is NO GOOD. You walked out even though I begged you to stay. Mark my words, it will be the LAST time.
  5. Yesterday's argument was ALL over YOUR refusal to answer a simple yes or no question with a yes or no answer.
me: "did you or did you not tell me you were on your way home last we talked? yes or no?"

you: "welli, but i just, no but, yes but, yadayadayadablablabla)"

Assface, i understand that things come up at work and that you have to stay late. What I do NOT understand is your absolute refusal to answer a straightforward question with a straightforward answer. Perhaps you tried to read into my question and think that I was not believing where you were or what your were doing. No, NOT the case. I was just trying to ask you what you had told me before. I didn't need to know what had happened since.

But now that I think about it, the fact that you can never answer the question about where you are or what you are doing is AWFULLY suspicious.

I SPENT ALL DAY CLEANING AND GATHERING SPECIAL THINGS THAT I THOUGHT WOULD HELP US TALK, ONCE AGAIN, I CLEARED THE TABLE AND TRIED TO MAKE IT NICE, I LIT THE MARITAL LIGHTS, I FOLDED LAUNDRY, I HUNG UP CLOTHES, I DID THE DISHES, I GOT ON MY HANDS AND KNEES AND SCRUBBED THE FLOOR, I VACUUMED...

AND YOU HAD THE NERVE TO ASK ME WHAT I DID TO PREPARE???

And let's not forget that I had been counting on you to play with ourson while I prepared dinner... He would not let me put him down yesterday and I had already set the stove on fire...

RESPECT:
You DEMAND that I speak to you with respect but that is IMPOSSIBLE because I do NOT respect you. Can you honestly read the above reminders and argue that you deserve even a SHRED of respect? I think I am being very generous in maintaining only three shreds of respect for you but they are not enough to negate the torture you have put me through. I respect that you are working so hard, that you are a good son, and WHEN you spend time with boy1 and boy2, you are playful and loving. You are NOT a parent to those boys, you're a buddy. I SUSPECT that is why boy1 won't listen to you and boy0 is distant. IF you EVEN want to right the wrongs of your past and be an ACTUAL PARENT and FATHER to babyNOW instead of just a playmate, you have LOTS of SOUL SEARCHING and childcare education to study up on. At this point Assface, actions speak louder than words. Your actions are SCREAMING that you do not want to be a father or a parent and certainly not a husband or even a good roommate!

If you still think that I should speak to you with respect, just because you are the MAN, let me remind you that you have also physically and verbally abused us in front of baby. And yes, I fought back fire with fire but in SELF DEFENSE - YOU were the INSTIGATOR so you CANNOT blame it back on ME! YOU HIT ME FIRST, you pathetic excuse for a man.

You mother said she "prayed for me" and my "anger." MY ANGER??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Of COURSE I am angry, my husband either neglects, abuses, or "mindfucks" me. His family lives in COMPLETE denial and refuses to accept ANY responsibility or even acknowledge that anything is wrong.
I asked your "Mother" if she prayed for her son to stop abusing the MOTHER of her GRANDCHILD in front of him???
I asked her point blank: "Woman from DeNile, did you pray for AssFace to stop abusing me in front of BABY? Like I ASKED you, no BEGGED you to months before???"
She said: "No, I didn't. Because I never saw it. I'm trying to go to bed now."

When I initially had this conversation with your "Mother," she had the nerve to say to me:
"Well DQFFS, he probably shoves you because you provoke him by not returning to work."
(Yes, she did indeed say that and you HAVE to remember me telling you that before.)

NO WONDER YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE A GOOD PARENT BUT ONLY A PLAYMATE - YOUR MOTHER IS GOING TO BE IN FOR A BIG SURPRISE IF SHE EVER MEETS HER MAKER!!!

She neglected and abused you and your siblings. She may or may not have intended to, but SHE DID.

It is YOUR CHOICE whether or not to break the cycle.

So far, you are taking the coward's way and running away from your responsibilities and refusing to deal with your issues. It is your loss because with the way you are NOW, ourson and I are BOTH better off WITHOUT you in our lives.

You literally make me ill,
Have a happier life without us in it since you hate us so,
DQFFS!

5 comments:

cIII said...

"You have to have a license to drive a Car, own a Dog, catch a Fish, etc. But any Butt reaming Asshole can be a Father."

It's shame, really.

DQFFS! said...

And I got all breeder with one 8(

At least I will raise MY SON to be an articulate gentleman with integrity of character.

P.S.
The cat is out of the bag. I was the first to say "we're separated" to his oldest son last night when he asked where Dad was after bringing me the baby thermometer that his own father couldn't manage to do...

DQFFS! said...

P.P.S.

He keeps having the nerve to order me to stop "impugning his character." I'm all like WHAT CHARACTER BIOTCH??? You cannot impugn that which does not exist...

cIII said...

"impugning his character." ???

You???

Au contraire le Douche....You're doing a BagUp job all by Yourself.

Carolyn...Online said...

I just... biting my tongue. Can you RUN?!